Perfectionism

I was reading an article online about people who are perfectionists.
It said something about how a perfectionist thinks, if everything is perfect, nothing will go wrong.
It was, what Oprah calls, an aha moment for me.
I have issues with perfectionism and guilt. For some reason, I think I can fix everything, given the chance. I believe there is always some way to make everyone happy.
In this same article it had a woman who ended up with breast cancer and for some reason she thought she could have prevented the disease and felt guilty for putting her family through it.
I don't have company at my home often because I think the house has to be perfect. I feel like I will be judged by my home, and maybe they won't like me. I feel like my children will be judged by my home. I remember when I was at the childrens museum, when my kids were little, and I struck up a conversation with another mother. The first thing she asked me was where I live and I was afraid to tell her thinking it might not be the perfect area of town.
When I got married I was told, by my mother, to make sure I look nice for my husband and make sure my home was nice so he doesn't leave me.
I hated feeling that my only worth was in my looks and ability to keep a home.
Once, a friend of ours came by the house and I was not wearing makeup. I was so embarrassed and went on and on about how he was one of very few people to see me without makeup and he said something that stuck with me. He said he would be afraid of having a wife who always wore makeup because he would think she was hiding something, and he doesn't care if his wife wears makeup or not. I thought that was very cool. To be loved just as you are.
There are some really beautiful people in my family from grandparents to siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews. There are also a lot of perfectionist people in our family. I think it goes hand in hand. Wouldn't it be nice to just be who you are not care about all that superficial stuff and have people love you anyway?

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