What a day!

Wow...what a day it has been.  

Blessings and frustrations.

Being a mom and a wife, every time I hear sirens, I pray that it is not my family and whoever it is, everything will be ok.  So when you get a call from your husband saying the van is totaled, it totally freaks you out.  The first thing you ask is, "are you ok?".

Three cars involved and two children in one of the cars, but everyone was ok.  

BLESSINGS!!!!!

That is all that matters.  All three cars look pretty bad, but everyone is ok.  

GOD IS GOOD!!!

So why am I so mad that the officer put my husbands keys on top of the van and the tow truck drove off with them sliding off somewhere between the accident site and the tow yard????

It's so funny how our minds work.  I can't get upset about the accident because we all have those days when we run a red light or do something stupid by accident and we are so thankful that no one was in the path.  God help us if we have an accident and someone is hurt.  It shakes us to the core to think about.

But the keys!  I can get upset about that. Darn it!  Every extra key was on that set.  Car keys, van keys, door keys, rental house keys, lock keys, trailer keys, truck keys, truck bed shell keys. Ahhhhhhh!!!

I'm allowed to get upset about keys.  God has blessed us with a silly inconvenience of keys and saved all the people in that accident including two little boys who were very scared but are ok.

So...let me vent about some darn keys because what I'm probably venting about is how scary it was to have my husband in a three car accident that looks to have totaled our car.

I am praying everything goes ok with insurance.  

Now for something completely different........

The other day I was looking back at how far I have come in a year.  

One year ago I was a mess.  I was a ticking time bomb ready for a nervous breakdown.

I had people trying to make me feel guilty and I was hurting too much to do anything about it.   

I was trying to be what everyone wanted me to be and failing horribly.

Too much loss.  Too many people saying hurtful things because they were hurting.  Too much brokenness and heartache.  8 years of major depression and struggling all came to a final horrible peak.

And then I started to fall apart.  My health and my mind just took a nosedive.  

So I started counseling.  

I can't even begin to tell you how much I learned and how crazy it felt to endure the process.

One full year.  At first every week and then every other week one hour visits with an amazing lady who gave me my life back.  I'm not going to say it was easy.  In fact, it was probably the hardest thing I have ever done and I've had twins, so that's saying a lot.

I still have days were I have to work through old memories and words said, but I know how and I get it done.  I don't hold on to toxic people anymore.  I don't "poor me" anymore.  I don't care what anyone thinks I should be or what I should be doing,  I am free to choose my life and live it the way I want.  If someone doesn't like it.....oh well, I was not put on earth to please others.  And.....if you guilt me.......I'm outa there.  I think God put us here hoping we would become the most spectacular and unique person we can be, using the gifts He gave us.  I don't think He wants us all to become clones of whatever society says is perfect, or cool, or Christian, or smart, or talented.

So....I'm working on becoming the healthiest, most spectacular, unique, loving, me that God wants me to be.  And I'm letting Him show me the way.  That's it.  Take it or leave it.  

Now...if we could only find those darn keys!!!