Believing in the storms

 I'm listening to music from a Texas country artist we plan on interviewing Friday, and I have a glass of wine sitting next to me.  The music is great. My brain is numb from too much to think about and do. It is soothing to hear. 

My sister in law is in the hospital and it doesn't look like she will make it without a miracle.  I pray and I cry thinking about her.  I imagine her lying in the hospital bed with everything connected and my heart breaks.  

We have lost so many people in the last year. I miss my dad.  I miss my Brinkley.  I will miss my Sister in law if she goes to be with God. I know she loves God.  That gives me such peace.

I know Heaven exists.  I can feel it as if it is a part of me.  It is a light that lives inside my soul. I pray all the ones that I love will be there when it is their time.  It does not make losing others painless but it does make losing those who you love and know love God so freeing because you know they are With God In Glory.  I cheered for my mom at the end because her life was so hard for so many years at the end and her pain was so bad.  Everyone looked at me like I was nuts.  But I know!  I can feel that Glory in my bones!  I knew that I was NOT the only one cheering.  

This world is not meant to be easy.  It is a blink of the eye filled with life lessons and being molded like clay.  Choosing to be someone like me who Loves God the way I do, feels embarrassing for some.  Never for me.  I will dance and sing to give my Father the Glory He deserves.  I may not understand everything he does.  I may even get angry and incredibly frustrated, but I will always Love Him.


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