Living Life Beautifully

Today was beautiful outside. Unfortunately I had indoor chores to do that were important. I did, however, take the rabbit out and put him in his large outdoor cage with some paper to play with. He's a happy camper. The garden needs cleaning and probably some planting. I have lots of larkspur that seeding in just about everything. I love larkspur. I still haven't cleaned up all the white powder from the fire extinguisher. I think that will be a forever chore. It seems to have made it's way all the way out of the room I used it in and covers my piano and every light shelf and trinket I own. No fun. The other day, Bruce and I were having a talk about how so many people that I enjoyed getting to see on a regular basis are no longer available to me. It's been really hard. I remember a time when I would spend several days a week getting to see my friends, friends who I knew through school, through my husband, through my children, friends at church. Now it seems my...

Today is the ash wednesday . I've been thinking all day that I want to fast from something for lent. Now I'm starting to think I should DO something for 40 days of lent. I really wish I could read the bible in 40 days. But it would be a bit like speed reading with little benefit , plus, I'm not sure I can do it. My last post I talked about how things have been quite overwhelming, and that I have this need to re-create myself. Since then I've had some ah ha moments. I realized that my prayer life has been....shall we say...just as cluttered as my physical life. Each morning I wake up and have my prayer time with so much in my head that the prayer itself seems to get lost. At different times of the day, when I would pray for something, it seemed I had no words, or ability to focus. I journal a lot, but even that wasn't helping. I usually have a friday morning bible study available to me, but ours has been put on hold for a while. So basically, I'm lett...

Do you ever have those days where you just want to start over, like re-creating yourself, doing everything better? When your passion for whatever your doing in life has become stagnant or unfulfilled ? In the last month I've been doing the weight watchers thing. My beautiful sister-in-law looks amazing, and I thought it would be worth it to give it a try. I'm loving it and hating it at the same time, but it's also making me want to change other aspects of my life. I think I've lost the passion for what I make of my life. Does that make sense. I do the mom thing, cook, maid, accountant, taxi service, laundromat, bathroom attendant, vet, nurse, interior designer, seamstress, etc, etc..... I do the wife thing...I won't go into detail there. I do the church thing. I do the daughter, friend, sister, stranger thing. Each thing I treat with my usual reactions. In my home I am the ship captain. Out of my home I am the dingy boat that is tied to the deck. I run...