cluttered thinking.

Today is the ash wednesday. I've been thinking all day that I want to fast from something for lent. Now I'm starting to think I should DO something for 40 days of lent. I really wish I could read the bible in 40 days. But it would be a bit like speed reading with little benefit, plus, I'm not sure I can do it.

My last post I talked about how things have been quite overwhelming, and that I have this need to re-create myself. Since then I've had some ah ha moments. I realized that my prayer life has been....shall we say...just as cluttered as my physical life. Each morning I wake up and have my prayer time with so much in my head that the prayer itself seems to get lost. At different times of the day, when I would pray for something, it seemed I had no words, or ability to focus. I journal a lot, but even that wasn't helping. I usually have a friday morning bible study available to me, but ours has been put on hold for a while. So basically, I'm letting life get in the way of my time with Him. The effect this is having on my day to day life is not good for me.
After a lot of messy prayers for help, I ended up, some what accidentally, buying a book that is all about re-inventing yourself to be the best that you can be mentally, physically, and spiritually, or rather, becoming truly healthy in each of those categories. It is not actually Christian based, so I'm having to take a pen to it and alter accordingly. This is probably the 5th time I've been pushed in the direction of learning how to control my thoughts, and think positive.
I guess he's trying to tell me something and I just keep forgetting the lesson.

Still not sure what to do for lent.
Hugs.
Shannon

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