What would your life look like?
I went to lunch with my husband on monday to celebrate the first day of school. We went to the Grist Mill and ate way too much food sitting in the dining area over looking the water. As we were talking I noticed a couple walk through that obviously had money and were married. The woman was a perfectly manicured with makeup and not one hair out of place, she had her expensive clothes and purse, and the grumpiest look on her face. The husband looked exactly the same. They probably live in a beautiful home and drive amazing cars, just based on how they looked and acted. I felt kinda sorry for them.
I have lived a huge chunk of my life thinking i had to be one way and trying so hard to make myself what other people thought I should be. You are raised by your parents to be like them and they fuss and mold you and judge you if you aren't up to snuff. They want you to be the best for your sake and so you won't embarrass them.
I remember when i was dating my husband, following him to Blue bonnet palace and meeting up with all my friends to dance the night away and wait for his breaks so I could spend time with him. I remember walking into the girls restroom at that point in my life and everything seemed to be going well for me. I was cute, I had friends, i had a boyfriend who I adored........ The fact is, that never lasted long. I was not always cute, friends move away, and my boyfriend and I had a rocky life for several years.
It wasn't the fairy tale. It looked like the fairy tale. But it wasn't.
I am a very lucky woman. I have a great marriage, 4 amazing sons, a beautiful home, lots of stuff........
Which means.........................................
I am a messy person, my hair is falling out like crazy, I have days when I am very depressed, my husband and I work at our marriage every day, sometimes he doesn't like me and sometimes I don't like him, my kids are a mess and as imperfect as anyone, they drive me nuts, talk back, pull stunts, my home is a disaster, most of the paint is falling off the outside, the pet hair is in clumps in corners most days, most of my stuff is old, dirty, worn out, I drive an expedition with torn leather seats.
I weigh myself every day hopeful I won't gain any more weight, i feel old and ugly when i wake up and look in the mirror (unless my hair had some magical night on the pillow and looks FABULOUS) I don't like having people over unless my home is perfect, so I can give the illusion of being better than I am.
I worry that people won't like me, or that someone is upset with me. (lately it has been a reality).
I worry that im not preparing my children so that they will be successful and accepted by people who are popular.
And then I have days were the reality of all that feels incredibly stupid. I don't want to be what others want me to be. I want to be a fabulous version of myself. There isn't anyone else like me. I should love that.
I love when I was working with some of the kids at my former church and one of them was totally his or her own person with his or her own style. I loved when I could see that they didn't let anyone else define them. But sometimes it didn't take long to see them starting to fall apart because they didn't fit the mold. How cool would it be if every person became what they felt was their true self? I know a lot of musicians and one thing I have to say about musicians is that they don't fit the mold. They love to think outside the box. It doesn't mean they don't have the same mental battles that everyone else has, but they have this ability to be who they are anyway, or at least some do.
If you could be the best YOU and embrace the differences in who you are without having to mold yourself to what the world expects and only followed your God given personality and talent, what would that look like?
How would you dress, live, act? What would you do for a living? What kind of home would you live in? Would you shine or shrink if you tried to be who you are?
I have lived a huge chunk of my life thinking i had to be one way and trying so hard to make myself what other people thought I should be. You are raised by your parents to be like them and they fuss and mold you and judge you if you aren't up to snuff. They want you to be the best for your sake and so you won't embarrass them.
I remember when i was dating my husband, following him to Blue bonnet palace and meeting up with all my friends to dance the night away and wait for his breaks so I could spend time with him. I remember walking into the girls restroom at that point in my life and everything seemed to be going well for me. I was cute, I had friends, i had a boyfriend who I adored........ The fact is, that never lasted long. I was not always cute, friends move away, and my boyfriend and I had a rocky life for several years.
It wasn't the fairy tale. It looked like the fairy tale. But it wasn't.
I am a very lucky woman. I have a great marriage, 4 amazing sons, a beautiful home, lots of stuff........
Which means.........................................
I am a messy person, my hair is falling out like crazy, I have days when I am very depressed, my husband and I work at our marriage every day, sometimes he doesn't like me and sometimes I don't like him, my kids are a mess and as imperfect as anyone, they drive me nuts, talk back, pull stunts, my home is a disaster, most of the paint is falling off the outside, the pet hair is in clumps in corners most days, most of my stuff is old, dirty, worn out, I drive an expedition with torn leather seats.
I weigh myself every day hopeful I won't gain any more weight, i feel old and ugly when i wake up and look in the mirror (unless my hair had some magical night on the pillow and looks FABULOUS) I don't like having people over unless my home is perfect, so I can give the illusion of being better than I am.
I worry that people won't like me, or that someone is upset with me. (lately it has been a reality).
I worry that im not preparing my children so that they will be successful and accepted by people who are popular.
And then I have days were the reality of all that feels incredibly stupid. I don't want to be what others want me to be. I want to be a fabulous version of myself. There isn't anyone else like me. I should love that.
I love when I was working with some of the kids at my former church and one of them was totally his or her own person with his or her own style. I loved when I could see that they didn't let anyone else define them. But sometimes it didn't take long to see them starting to fall apart because they didn't fit the mold. How cool would it be if every person became what they felt was their true self? I know a lot of musicians and one thing I have to say about musicians is that they don't fit the mold. They love to think outside the box. It doesn't mean they don't have the same mental battles that everyone else has, but they have this ability to be who they are anyway, or at least some do.
If you could be the best YOU and embrace the differences in who you are without having to mold yourself to what the world expects and only followed your God given personality and talent, what would that look like?
How would you dress, live, act? What would you do for a living? What kind of home would you live in? Would you shine or shrink if you tried to be who you are?
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