Bubble wrap therapy

 When I was little, maybe 5-7  ish, every time I went to my grandfathers furniture store I would head over to the main desk and ask Jackie if there was any bubble wrap.

I did this every time.  Between that and asking Joe if he could sneak me a soda while he filled Big Daddy's soda machine.

After a while, they hid the bubble wrap because I knew where they put it.  Under the counter by the register. And I would pop it all up.

Now that I am an adult and almost all of my children are out of my house and the youngest is at school.  I can pop all the bubble wrap that I want.  I don't have to share

it with anyone.  Brinkley, who is not afraid of a 100, or more, pound deer, is hiding from me because I am popping tiny bubbles.

Why does is seem so therapeutic to pop little plastic sheets of bubbles?

As kids we would sit in an area of my grandparents store that had all the tv sets, and we would tune them all in to cartoons and lay on the floor until the cartoons were over.

There was this huge staircase that had red carpet and was really wide.  As kids we would run up those stairs and walk around where the matresses were.  They had this little tv machine that played mattress information and we thought that was cool.

Stacy and I would either go through all the refrigerators and pull out all the fake food and pretend to have dinner until Grandma caught us and told us to put them back, or we would play hide and seek.

She would hide in the area where the dishwashers were because she was small enough to fit into all the cubbies.  Hide and seek in that store awesome.

I have so many memories of that place.  Sitting under my dads desk in a tire rim while he worked, having Joe show me the hole they put the oil in and tell me if my brothers were mean, just tell him and he will stick them in that hole, going up to my grandfathers office using a creepy staircase past the tires and then looking out the little square window in the office that looked over the store.

Big Daddy had a santa up front, during Christmas time, that moved but we were never allowed to touch it.  I think we did anyway.

Watching Melvin move the mowers in every evening and back out to the sidewalk every morning, helping mom and Grandma dust the furniture and hiding under the staircase where all the fabric samples hung.  It was a very cool place and I am so happy to have those memories.

In the past year I have had to go back through my memories and recall things that were not pleasant.  It was a difficult year going through all those memories.

It took a long time.  I had to talk them all out.  After a while, things started to click.  I finally learned why I was having such a hard time through my life and especially the last 9 years.

When you go through counseling, you have to be teachable.  You can't be hard headed and unwilling to accept criticism. 

It's a really hard thing to go through.  And so very worth it.

On my last day with my counselor she gave me the name of a book she wanted me to read to continue on with my healing.  It's a Christian based book that brings scripture into some of the examples and has been a very interesting read so far.  I'm learning a lot about why I was the scared child I was.  It's not a super long book and I'm only about a fourth of the way into it, but I thought I would share the title and author in case anyone is interested.

It's called "Boundaries" By Cloud and Townsend.

I wish I would have had this book when I was a new mom.  It talks about what children need when they are growing up, to feel safe, healthy and happy.

It talks about setting boundaries so others won't control your life and tell you why that is so important.

As I continue to heal and learn who I am, I look forward to each day.

I think I am a better mom and wife because I know what is healthy and not healthy.

I wish I could get all 4 of my boys and my husband to read this book. Hint...hint..

The world may be a mess, but know that you don't have to be. 

Be teachable even if it makes you mad.  Be willing to work towards the goal of good mental and physical health.  Don't give up.  Research, learn, and pray for guidance.

Hugs

Shannon