Living Life Beautifully

It's that season again.   The season of excitement and yet fear of upsetting family. Fear of grumpy dad.  Fear of saying the wrong thing. Fear of being considered lacking. It is the one part of my life that I fail most. It is my most sensitive time where I let things get to me. This is my mind speaking to me as I try to sleep......... . . . Do you ever feel like no matter how you live your life, you can't do anything right? (It's almost 3 in the morning and I haven't been able to stay asleep, if I've slept at all.) (My mind continues to speak) I've been laying here re assessing my life from the opinion of others. I don't ask for anything...... I take care of my family, raised my children, pay my bills, love my husband. We have chosen a life that is simple.  We don't go on big vacations, we have older cars, we have an old home that we restored and built ourselves along with two other homes our children live in. We've been dealt a flood, we've had ...

When I wake up in the morning the first thing I look at is the window to see if the sun is shining. I try to guess the time.  I listen to Skuttles crowing.  I tell God thank you, unless I forget. I have an app on my kindle called youversion.  I can read my daily bible reading and devotionals that I have chosen.  I almost done with reading the bible in a year although I wasn't as consistent as I should have been so it took me more than a year. I get up, get dressed, hit the bathroom to brush my teeth and all that stuff, and then I head into the kitchen for my tea or coffee routine.  I look forward to opening my laptop to make a video or blog something.  God made me a talker.  I love to talk.  I love to learn.  I love to listen and get so excited that I interrupt all the time.  My mind is always searching for new information and ways to do better. I'm reading and studying the things around me.  I try to regrow things and hatc...

I've got to get myself in a better mood. You know those mornings when you have your brain set on auto pilot and you know what you want to do and someone keeps throwing stuff at you while your trying to think? You haven't had your coffee yet and a part of your brain is wanting to tell everyone to go away and stop talking.  You are a nice person but if they don't walk out of the room right now, your going to say something that is not so nice. Your working on something and your being interrupted. That is me right now. How to get myself out of that mind set. Can I just go back to sleep? Do I need wine?  It's a bit early for that. Do I need to go outside in the cold and walk it off? I feel like mean person right now.