Talk to someone who loves you and tell them how your doing.

 It is almost Christmas!!!  Can you believe it?  

I have had an interesting November so far.  Bruce and I started a program for my health.  You get so desperate when you feel bad all the time.  Sometimes it can feel like the life you have when you have an auto immune disease is not a quality life.  It can feel overwhelming and frustrating because you can't do the things you love anymore.  Se we reached out to someone who has a lot of the same things I have but her life is amazing.  And we started a program that she does for a living.  It's been pretty easy for us because we were only eating one meal a day due to my inability to eat and not crash.

I'm getting my house cleaner and my craft area is almost up and running and I have energy and I am terrified that it won't last.  Lol!  We've been on this journey once before with a coffee we were drinking and then they changed the product and it made me sick.  So I am hopeful but nervous.

I don't think many people understand how hard it is to have an invisible illness.  People can be blunt and almost rude with you because they think it's all in your head.  And the fact that it affects women so much more than men, makes it even harder.  I am grateful to have a husband who understands my illness because he went with me and had the doctor explain it to him.  Not many men take the time.

I think we all have things that make life a little more challenging but sometimes life can feel unbearable and those who feel that way need love and support.  My sister in law felt that way and every time I look at the things she made me or see something that has cats on it and want to buy it for her and add it to my box of things I had here to send her, my heart breaks.  She was a precious person with a beautiful heart but her life was so very hard with depression and illness, that she actually disconnected from people including us.  If you see someone starting to do that....  Please reach out to them and tell them how important they are.  Tell them how loved they are and how their family will feel like there is a hole if anything happens to them.  They truly need to know they are cherished.  

I think of myself as a little girl often.  I was a talker but always scared.  My mom had OCD and our home had to be perfect and so did we.  She spent so much time making her home and life look perfect that she missed out on so many thing.  I used to sneak through the bushes and run to the neighbors house and spend the day because I needed someone to talk to that would SEE me.  I needed someone to accept me for who I was with my ratty long hair and my 5 year old baby fat belly.  So I had Betty.  She was my heart.  She taught me how to crochet and drink hot tea with cookies.  She had a cat named Mitsy who was so much for to find and pet.  I love Miss Betty FOREVER.  I don't think she knows me right now because age has caught up with her.  But I still love her for saving me.

My mom was beautiful.  She loved being beautiful.  She had a good heart.  She also had OCD, anxiety, and some things happen in her life that made things feel a bit twisted up.  She went through a late mid life crisis when my dad retired and would call me from the walmart parking lot crying because he had food in his beard and was always there in her home and she didn't want him there 24-7.  That set off a mess of stuff that broke her and made her a different person.  We talked about it when she was dying of cancer.  She wished she could go back and do things differently because she felt she lost too much.

We all struggle.  Sometimes it is crazy hard.  Sometimes you need a margarita night with the girls once a month or maybe just a coffee group to talk.  I have so many friends who are feeling so broken right now.  I love them so much and I don't know what I can do to help, so I pray for them as much as I can. They are my family and my heart.  

So, with Christmas coming... reach out to those you love and tell them how you feel.  If they don't get it and say something stupid... Go to someone else and talk to them.  Just because they don't get you, doesn't mean they are bad people.  You have to find someone who understand what you going through.  But find someone.  Someone who loves you.

Hugs,

Shannon

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

DIVORCE AND MENTAL HEALTH

 It is a beautiful hot day outside.  Texas weather in the summers are not for the faint of heart, that's for sure.  But it is truly beautiful.  We've had a good amount of rain through June so the grass is still green, which doesn't usually happen by July.   I don't blog often.  I unintentionally hurt someones feelings with a blog post and I don't want to do that again so I am very nervous blogging about anything.  I created this blog page to try and heal myself and maybe help anyone else who might be going through the same circumstances.  I have depression that has been my constant companion for a good part of my life.   So most of my blog posts are my way of working through my depression.  I have a hard time feeling safe in many situations.  A good amount of that was because of how our home felt when I was young.  I had precious parents that weren't good at communication.  I don't think they knew how to be any o...
Read more

I AM

Image
Several years ago I read something that really made sense to me. I can't remember where I read it or what exactly it said but it talked about how saying the words "I am ......." before some value that you wish you had.  It was explained that, in doing so, it could change your subconscious thinking.   We all have so many thoughts running through our heads at any given moment and I would guess that not all those thoughts are positive.  If you are a woman, then you probably have many more thoughts running at one time than any man would.  Most of us have high expectations for ourselves, so every imaginable self criticism comes to mind and runs on a continuous loop in our heads. When we read the bible it has so many areas that talk about taking captive your thoughts, thinking of only good things, speaking words that only lift us up, and BELIEVING what you pray for, so it will be done.  So the trick for most of us is to shut down those negative subconscious thoughts t...
Read more

Todays thoughts

I've been listening and reading about a new fad in Christianity that has become very heart breaking for me personally . It seems there is a growing number of people who don't like what they call the "institution" of the church. You know what? Church is not perfect and never was. That's why there are so many letters in the bible to churches telling them what they need to change. It's not going to be perfect but that doesn't mean we walk away. What concerns me about great Christian people who give up on the church experience, is that, in giving up and only gathering with a small group of Christians, they are losing the experience of fellowship with people that have no other place to go. Christians who need loving people around them on that Sunday morning, to help get them through the week. What I LOVE about church is that I am accepted even though I'm not perfect, wealthy, popular or whatever. I LOVE that when my children come to church, they are...
Read more