Finding hope
It's pretty late at night. My brain won't slow down so I can sleep. Last night I was up til dawn trying to sleep due to my mind racing and my legs crawling.
It's been a difficult week.
I could write all these things down in my journal next to my bed, instead of typing it into a blog for everyone to read, but I remember being a young girl, and young wife, thinking I was the only one who felt this or that. I remember wishing I could have learned from someone's mistakes instead of making them myself. I wished someone would have told me.......... and then maybe this or that wouldn't have happened.
My blog posts are not always fun to read, and they usually don't make me look too great, but I post them because I know they might help someone else.
Sometimes it feels like God is unhappy with me, that he lets me go through so much in my life. And then I think of some of the things that other people go through that is so much worse, and I feel bad for comparing my problems to theirs. I was reminded, today, that a friend of mine from childhood passed away 23 years ago today, due to a drunk driver. She was an amazing and beautiful person. I have so many wonderful memories of her. I feel incredibly blessed to have gotten to spend so many years as her friend.
She was loved so much by her friends an family, and they miss her beyond words.
Sometimes things feel so unfair. You can try so hard to be good and it's not going to keep bad things from happening. You can try to do the right thing and it's not going make everyone love you. Difficult things are going to happen, no matter how hard you try to keep them from happening.
It's always been a hard reality for me to deal with. I want everyone to be happy, everything to be fair and just, and everyone to be safe and taken care of. I guess we all want those things. Sometimes, the stuff we go through is God's plan. Sometimes He just allows us to go through bad things because it's life. It's not an easy thought. It's not what I want to to happen. But I know that He is with me. Even if I can't feel Him around.
I am blessed that God found me when He did. I can't imagine my life without the hope that I find in Him.
Even when things feel overwhelming and unfair, there is a hope that He will make all things right, or take away the pain, or maybe open a window after the door has closed. I have faith that he has a plan.
I pray that Gina's family feel blessed by her memory and that they always have peace when they think of her.
She was such a blessing in my life.
It's been a difficult week.
I could write all these things down in my journal next to my bed, instead of typing it into a blog for everyone to read, but I remember being a young girl, and young wife, thinking I was the only one who felt this or that. I remember wishing I could have learned from someone's mistakes instead of making them myself. I wished someone would have told me.......... and then maybe this or that wouldn't have happened.
My blog posts are not always fun to read, and they usually don't make me look too great, but I post them because I know they might help someone else.
Sometimes it feels like God is unhappy with me, that he lets me go through so much in my life. And then I think of some of the things that other people go through that is so much worse, and I feel bad for comparing my problems to theirs. I was reminded, today, that a friend of mine from childhood passed away 23 years ago today, due to a drunk driver. She was an amazing and beautiful person. I have so many wonderful memories of her. I feel incredibly blessed to have gotten to spend so many years as her friend.
She was loved so much by her friends an family, and they miss her beyond words.
Sometimes things feel so unfair. You can try so hard to be good and it's not going to keep bad things from happening. You can try to do the right thing and it's not going make everyone love you. Difficult things are going to happen, no matter how hard you try to keep them from happening.
It's always been a hard reality for me to deal with. I want everyone to be happy, everything to be fair and just, and everyone to be safe and taken care of. I guess we all want those things. Sometimes, the stuff we go through is God's plan. Sometimes He just allows us to go through bad things because it's life. It's not an easy thought. It's not what I want to to happen. But I know that He is with me. Even if I can't feel Him around.
I am blessed that God found me when He did. I can't imagine my life without the hope that I find in Him.
Even when things feel overwhelming and unfair, there is a hope that He will make all things right, or take away the pain, or maybe open a window after the door has closed. I have faith that he has a plan.
I pray that Gina's family feel blessed by her memory and that they always have peace when they think of her.
She was such a blessing in my life.
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