Yesterday I had a meltdown.
I haven't had one in a while. I guess it was time.
Our work here depends on having a good internet connection.
All of our business depend on it.
So we were doing our Friday morning radio show and the stream kept going down.
Bruce ended up spending hours on the phone with them... again...
Earlier we woke up to find our bank account hacked and someone purchased
over $2000 in hockey tickets with it.
Then I called my dad, which I try to do each month, and I always cry after our conversation.
I don't know what it is. I don't know why I always cry after talking to him.
He doesn't really have anything to do with me. Maybe I just feel sad about that.
I was all excited to start a new business this week. I found something that made a difference in my life and wanted to share it with others. So I felt like it was a great idea.
No sales so far. Was I thinking that everyone would magically buy the product from me.
I won't give up hope. If it's meant to be...God will make it happen.
In my meltdown I got pretty frustrated with God.
I'm in the kitchen with my husband and I'm yelling at the ceiling.
I have only been frustrated or angry with God a few times in my life.
Afterwards I wait for the bolt of lightning to hit me. I even asked for it yesterday.
My sweet husband looks up at the ceiling and says, "No, No No".
I had to laugh at that.
He hasn't struck me down yet.
I get really frustrated with the fact that it takes me breaking down to hear from God sometimes.
I have to lose it and then He talks.
I'm supposed to "wait upon the Lord", but then I'm sitting here wondering what to do.
We are thrifty. We work hard. Life seems so hard sometimes.
I am one who does so many things but can not make any money.
My husband supports us and the year has been crazy hard for us.
We seem to go backwards in debt and no matter we do.
And then.....
you post online for anyone who wants eggs.
You get few or no replies.
So your husband decides to fill a couple of bags of eggs for the food bank because the back frig is now overflowing and when he walks in the door, two of the people there say, "oooh… is this the egg man?"
Did God just speak?
So Now I'm going to sing that song to my husband every day. "coo coo kachoo."
I did tell God I was sorry last night in my prayers.
I imagine He rolls His wonderous eyes at me and my craziness often.
I imagine he has a good laugh when I'm having a fun day and probably
cries with me when I'm hurting. I know this life is not created to be perfect and easy.
I know I'm supposed to learn and endure many things so I can be what He needs me to be.
I have a wry neck polish rooster in the bathroom who is young and probably permanently impaired.
He was born with a vaulted skull that has no skull on top, so his brain is very exposed.
He is the sweetest funniest little guy. Most of the time his head is curled over between his legs but he has moments when he can lift his head and look around. He talks to me and purrs when I hold him.
I can see how anyone with a child who is handicapped in that way feels that bitter sweet feeling.
That love the child shows in small moments when you can absolutely connect with them.
It would be a hard life but a life well spent on the love and care of that child.
What kind of frustration meltdowns that wonderful parent must endure so often.
God is a mystery.
If we did not have these things...how would we see life, the world, human endurance, or love?
I asked my husband one day, what if, before we were born, we were told what our life would be and given the choice of whether or not we wanted to be born to that life. It's an interesting thought.
It is the way Jesus was born into the world. He knew everything that would happen before he was placed within the womb of Mary. He chose to accept that life.
Kinda wow!
Hugs guys,
Have a great day!
Buy my coffee!
https://elevacity.com/shannonschwarz
LOL!!!
No makeup day!!!
I haven't had one in a while. I guess it was time.
Our work here depends on having a good internet connection.
All of our business depend on it.
So we were doing our Friday morning radio show and the stream kept going down.
Bruce ended up spending hours on the phone with them... again...
Earlier we woke up to find our bank account hacked and someone purchased
over $2000 in hockey tickets with it.
Then I called my dad, which I try to do each month, and I always cry after our conversation.
I don't know what it is. I don't know why I always cry after talking to him.
He doesn't really have anything to do with me. Maybe I just feel sad about that.
I was all excited to start a new business this week. I found something that made a difference in my life and wanted to share it with others. So I felt like it was a great idea.
No sales so far. Was I thinking that everyone would magically buy the product from me.
I won't give up hope. If it's meant to be...God will make it happen.
In my meltdown I got pretty frustrated with God.
I'm in the kitchen with my husband and I'm yelling at the ceiling.
I have only been frustrated or angry with God a few times in my life.
Afterwards I wait for the bolt of lightning to hit me. I even asked for it yesterday.
My sweet husband looks up at the ceiling and says, "No, No No".
I had to laugh at that.
He hasn't struck me down yet.
I get really frustrated with the fact that it takes me breaking down to hear from God sometimes.
I have to lose it and then He talks.
I'm supposed to "wait upon the Lord", but then I'm sitting here wondering what to do.
We are thrifty. We work hard. Life seems so hard sometimes.
I am one who does so many things but can not make any money.
My husband supports us and the year has been crazy hard for us.
We seem to go backwards in debt and no matter we do.
And then.....
you post online for anyone who wants eggs.
You get few or no replies.
So your husband decides to fill a couple of bags of eggs for the food bank because the back frig is now overflowing and when he walks in the door, two of the people there say, "oooh… is this the egg man?"
Did God just speak?
So Now I'm going to sing that song to my husband every day. "coo coo kachoo."
I did tell God I was sorry last night in my prayers.
I imagine He rolls His wonderous eyes at me and my craziness often.
I imagine he has a good laugh when I'm having a fun day and probably
cries with me when I'm hurting. I know this life is not created to be perfect and easy.
I know I'm supposed to learn and endure many things so I can be what He needs me to be.
I have a wry neck polish rooster in the bathroom who is young and probably permanently impaired.
He was born with a vaulted skull that has no skull on top, so his brain is very exposed.
He is the sweetest funniest little guy. Most of the time his head is curled over between his legs but he has moments when he can lift his head and look around. He talks to me and purrs when I hold him.
I can see how anyone with a child who is handicapped in that way feels that bitter sweet feeling.
That love the child shows in small moments when you can absolutely connect with them.
It would be a hard life but a life well spent on the love and care of that child.
What kind of frustration meltdowns that wonderful parent must endure so often.
God is a mystery.
If we did not have these things...how would we see life, the world, human endurance, or love?
I asked my husband one day, what if, before we were born, we were told what our life would be and given the choice of whether or not we wanted to be born to that life. It's an interesting thought.
It is the way Jesus was born into the world. He knew everything that would happen before he was placed within the womb of Mary. He chose to accept that life.
Kinda wow!
Hugs guys,
Have a great day!
Buy my coffee!
https://elevacity.com/shannonschwarz
LOL!!!
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