Learning About Resentment
It's a really nice day.
I have many things on my todo list that I hope to accomplish today, but it's ok if I don't.
How frustrated, with yourself, do you get when you can't accomplish everything on your list?
How frustrated does your spouse get when you can't accomplish everything on HIS/HER list?
Bruce and I did some reading this morning on the boundaries book and read about resentment.
How many times in a married life do we feel that awful feeling creep up?
Your spouse doesn't do what you feel he or she should be doing, or you feel like they aren't pulling their weight. They come to give you a kiss and you want to say, "PASS".
I used to have my mom on the phone while I complained and she would tell me how I needed to yell at him for this or that, or how I shouldn't let him get away with that. So your spouse comes home to an angry wife who goes off on him. He's looking at you like your nuts and then asks if you talked to your mom. Lol! Or watched Oprah. That happened a few times also.
Do we take the time to tell our spouse what we need?
Do you need your spouse to do a better job and keeping the kitchen clean?
Do you need your spouse to make sure and do his/her chores?
Do you expect him to keep the lawn cared for?
Do you expect her to make dinner?
If you had to make a list of what you need from them, would it be things like that or would it be a hug, a kiss, a kind word, time?
Do we communicate that or hold it in? Do they have to read our minds?
Do you get mad because your spouse doesn't read your mind well? Lol!
I am one of those women who has to read my husbands mind.
When he get's mad he is quiet. When he's overwhelmed or discouraged....quiet.
It can get frustrating. I have learned to read him and pull things from him or put the puzzle pieces together. It's really annoying at times.
He doesn't want to hurt my feelings. But I see he's unhappy. I won't let it go until he tells me so he might as well get it over with. I need a chance to fix it. I find myself apologizing and feeling guilt for things that might not bother him, all because I'm guessing and trying to touch all the bases.
This was a good chapter. Let's see if I can get him to talk a little more about what he's feeling.
Baby steps. Lol.
Hugs
Shannon
I have many things on my todo list that I hope to accomplish today, but it's ok if I don't.
How frustrated, with yourself, do you get when you can't accomplish everything on your list?
How frustrated does your spouse get when you can't accomplish everything on HIS/HER list?
Bruce and I did some reading this morning on the boundaries book and read about resentment.
How many times in a married life do we feel that awful feeling creep up?
Your spouse doesn't do what you feel he or she should be doing, or you feel like they aren't pulling their weight. They come to give you a kiss and you want to say, "PASS".
I used to have my mom on the phone while I complained and she would tell me how I needed to yell at him for this or that, or how I shouldn't let him get away with that. So your spouse comes home to an angry wife who goes off on him. He's looking at you like your nuts and then asks if you talked to your mom. Lol! Or watched Oprah. That happened a few times also.
Do we take the time to tell our spouse what we need?
Do you need your spouse to do a better job and keeping the kitchen clean?
Do you need your spouse to make sure and do his/her chores?
Do you expect him to keep the lawn cared for?
Do you expect her to make dinner?
If you had to make a list of what you need from them, would it be things like that or would it be a hug, a kiss, a kind word, time?
Do we communicate that or hold it in? Do they have to read our minds?
Do you get mad because your spouse doesn't read your mind well? Lol!
I am one of those women who has to read my husbands mind.
When he get's mad he is quiet. When he's overwhelmed or discouraged....quiet.
It can get frustrating. I have learned to read him and pull things from him or put the puzzle pieces together. It's really annoying at times.
He doesn't want to hurt my feelings. But I see he's unhappy. I won't let it go until he tells me so he might as well get it over with. I need a chance to fix it. I find myself apologizing and feeling guilt for things that might not bother him, all because I'm guessing and trying to touch all the bases.
This was a good chapter. Let's see if I can get him to talk a little more about what he's feeling.
Baby steps. Lol.
Hugs
Shannon
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